quackquack

Would you like some religion with your cappuccino?

Julie’s latest piece on the South Jersey Catholic wars is pretty darn funny. Of course, what’s not to laugh about when we get the Bishop’s favorite Texas McCatholic Church profiled by the local reporter voted most likely to get down on his knees to serve the Bishop? They call their coffeeshop the “barrista ministry.” Their pagan labyrinth is surrounded by their crematorium, they have tai chi on the grass and sell Zulu music in the bookstore (as Father Jack would say “Yes! That would be an ecumenical matter!”) The senior pastor tried to explain all the positive, feel-good energy at the church by saying “it’s like walking into a mall at Christmas,” which I guess is a more transcendent experience than, say, umm.., I dunno, maybe walking into a church at Christmas?

Scroll down to the bottom where Julie’s sister and our brother-in-law go on a riff about the services they’d like to see at any McCatholic Churches on Bishop Galante’s drawing board (example: “Do you have to put a quarter in the confessional to get the door to open? Do the hosts have an imprint of the Nike swoosh on them?”). Galante’s all about vibrancy and youth programs, blah blah blah, and the Texas church does have a youth group website. It sports the requisite stupid name (X-Tream Faith) and theming from the X-Files, a show that went off the air when today’s teens were still in their Barney phase. It’s calendar is completely empty, natch. What’s most incredible is that Bishop Galante and the Courier Post actually think any of this making their case. Are they really really so out of touch? Does this look like vibrancy to anyone?

Someone needs to get the Bishop a cup of strong coffee: his incarcerated pal Raffaello Follieri is finally scheduled to appear in Federal District Court this Friday and we can expect all sorts of FBI documentation to tumble into the public record. The Wall Street Journal is hinting at a plea agreement but confirms that the Federal case is being built around bribe money paid to church officials, though the leak only places them at the Vatican. I don’t suspect it’s feeling much like the the mall on Christmas morning over at the Diocesan offices.